recognizing feelings of burnout
I wish I could take a few days off of work to just recharge and catch up with life. I haven't gotten to use any paid time off since December. Typically I have normal weekends off, but this is my job's peak season, and I've been working mandatory overtime since the start of January. Sometimes, this means needing to fit in overtime on weekends. I just feel tired.
I’m almost twenty-eight — I should feel used to being an adult by now, right? I shouldn’t feel like working 40 hours a week is still exhausting, or like keeping up with dishes and laundry and meals and pet care is too much to manage. I should be adjusted to these things already. So why am I still struggling? Why do I still feel exhausted and as if I’m falling behind?
I just want to zone out and turn my brain off. I want to lay down, stare at the ceiling, and not have a single thought on my mind for an hour or two. I want to not have to worry about what to make for meals and just have a meal replacement shake and be done with it.
Normally, these kinds of thoughts may sound like depression creeping up on me, but I don’t think that’s the case this time. I still feel interested in my hobbies and feel enjoyment and happiness. I’m just…. feeling burnt out lately, and today it’s a little heavier than usual.
Tonight, dinner will be easy. Impossible chicken nuggets, macaroni and cheese, leftover steamed vegetables. Tonight, I will knit and watch Star Trek, a franchise that has quickly become my comfort content. I’ll go to bed a little earlier and try to make tomorrow a better, brighter, more energetic day.